Back at It

I finished up a workout at lunch yesterday and fished my phone out of my gym bag to check my texts. Not only did I have 5 texts, I had a missed call that said mom. My stomach dropped. My family only calls when it’s an emergency and my mom doesn’t have long distance on her home phone so I knew someone was calling from her cell. I scroll through the messages, she’s on her way to the hospital via EMS, another bad sign. She can’t breathe and her one lung isn’t functioning at all so they’re thinking either collapsed lung or congestive heart failure.I call my brother S. back as I’m baby- wiping sweat off of myself and am changing clothes. He repeats himself which is fine, and then immediately launches into complaining about my other brother M. I just don’t have the time or energy to devote to this nonsense so I cut him short. Cue 4 hours later, I ask S. for an update. He’s going to skip work and head up there. He may get fired from missing work whenever he feels like it. And oh he’s getting so old etc. Okay. Way to make it about you again dude. 6pm, I’m leaving work. I text for an update. He JUST got there. 7pm, it is congestive heart failure. They have 4 ivs in her, a breathing tube, and a catheter in trying to draw out fluids. Plus something to make her sleep. He sends some pictures I could do without and turns it into a boo hoo poor me conversation again. I just don’t have the energy to deal with him on top of the more important issue- mom’s health. I got very little sleep last night, burst into tears when my boss asked about her, and got guilted by a coworker for not driving 3 hours to watch her sleep. I’m trying to get an update today but S sleeps until 4pm, M is at work, and the nurse’s station is not answering. So I’m trying to acknowledge what I’m feeling and deal with it in a healthier way than eating every carb ever and crying.

Author: J9

I run, and run terribly. This is my journey to 40 years old and my first full marathon.

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